Wednesday, January 21, 2009

sick like a dog

I caught a cold over the weekend. I haven't left the house since Sunday. Yesterday I was a wreck. At least today I had the energy to take some pictures:

This is what my view was all day yesterday
Mmmmhhh... starting the morning right
Hello handsome
I dozed in front of this yesterday. At least now I'll no exactly where I was for the inauguration: on the couch.
I was dreaming about this apple yesterday as I lay in bed parched and hungry. Tiffany brought me home two. So juicy, so crunchy.
The leftovers, I was being picky.
On and unrelated note, some of the seedlings are coming to life.
my basal temperature is 100.3, which either means I'm menstruating or I've got a fever.

Friday, January 16, 2009

closing doors

I know that I don't say much about my real life on this blog -- even the pictures of my intimate space lack meaning, or context. I photograph as if the thing photographed is floating a void of visual looking. (although, maybe that too is a shortsighted description; my pictures float, not in a purely visual world, but in a highly romanticized mode of picture planes, victorian structures and self-flatulation.(boy, sometimes I pontificate when I try to write.(oh,and yes, I meant flatulation, not flagellation, I thought it'd be funny.)))

- What's your point?
- No, I don't got a point, I went in thinking about writing about disappointment, opportunity, thoughtful progress, but it's coming out all wrong.
- Well, say what you want to say and then put a couple pictures up. You took that picture of a door; make a metaphor where your missed opportunity is the closed door and you can then, uh, move away from the door.
- Yeah, but now that you say it like that it doesn't make sense.
- So what? You never think symbols out very far, just stick it in there and count on the viewer to assume it means something profound.
- I will, I will, but I wanted to talk about the process a little before we leap into the symbolic world.
- Ok, you shot the picture, you talk about the process. I assume that's what you mean, you're very vague sometimes.
- You don't need to be so, whatever. So, I took a picture of the white closet door, it was open a crack and I liked the dark line created by that crack. Then I took a picture of the bathroom door, it's is also white and I've tried to photograph it before, but it always comes out, ergh, bad. Then I thought to myself,
- to me
- Yeah, to you, "the only door I like in the house is the front door." So then I went to the hallway, and took three photographs of the door. I was worried about camera shake and wanted to get the framing, just so.
- OK, so what, you took five pictures.
- Well, I guess I wanted to figure out why I didn't just stick with the first picture.
- It was boring.
- But so is the last picture, it's uninteresting, but it's uninteresting in a way... I dunno.
- Listen, there's more contrast in the last picture. It's a dark door against a white wall. There's nothing much to it. I feel comfortable saying this because we're so intimate, but I think your an asshole for spending this much time on the freaking door picture. You deleted the other pictures anyway, so we can't even look back at them.
- I'm afraid to talk about what I wanted to talk about.
- Yeah, I know.
- It's not even the subject matter, it's the manner that I speak that I fear renders things banal. Like, I am grasping at meaning then, when I write it down, something that seemed profound in my head becomes flat, obvious and leads nowhere.
- Did you smoke a lot of pot in high school?
- and college.
- And did you have these mind-blowing day-glow curlycue images that saturated your head with light, then, when you looked at yourself the next day it was drab, gray and obvious?
- Yeah, sure, you know that. And your sounding like a therapist making explanations for feelings.
- I'm just trying to be kind to you. I'm usually critical and mean.
- OK.
- Well, you know where I'm going, but let's let the readers in on the thought process, okay?
- yeah, yeah, go.
- Well, if you spent you intellectually formative years going into these wild curving mind trips, only to find, each time, that the result was a flat and sort of stupid idea, well, then of course you still shy away from exploring anything very deeply. And since your mode of expression was writing, then hear you are struggling with your inner voice avoiding saying what you want to say.
- Holy shit, sigh, you figured it out.
- Okay, you don't need to pull a fancy role reversal, asshole.
- Okay, but I want people to read this and find it interesting, engaging. This pseudo-therapeutic jawing doesn't attract readers, and it will probably turn a bunch of them off.
- Right, but I'm the one who likes the void. I don't care what other people think.
- Well, I wish I were as brave as you, because I'm imaging people reading this and what they're thinking to themselves about me, about us.
- Yeah, well, if your imaging it why not use some quotes or parentheses or italics. I'm letting you use that stuff.
- To much effort, I don't really know who reads this, certainly don't know who gets this far in this masturbatory dialogue.
- You've been wanting to use that word all morning.
- Yeah, seemed appropriate there.
- Well, are we done now?

Tuesday, January 13, 2009

Projects around the house

I was going to label each of the ongoing projects that I'm procrastinating from, but I kinda like their mute thingness without the labels. Just look and enjoy and guess what I'm not doing at the moment.

who wants a postcard?

Cleaning out my desk I found a small collection of unwritten post cards. Do you want one? Send me your address and I'll write and post it to you.

Tuesday, January 6, 2009

New Year Resolutions

If you hang out with me for any extended period of time you will, at one point or another, hear me bragging about achieving my New Year's resolutions in 2008. It seems to me that most people make vague or over ambitious goals. By the end of the year either they've become discouraged with the difficulty of their task or they have no way to measure their progress. So you will hear me crowing about concrete task, achievable goals and measurable steps. I can be quite a bore, I assure you.

This New Year I am carefully considering the years resolutions. Once I start thinking about the things that I want to do I get a little bogged down by my own ambitions. In the interest of getting it out of my head and out into the world I submit this list. This is not my New Year Resolutions, because, as I've said before, those need to be clear achievable goals that have measurable results, but it is a list of Resolutions to be Considered.

Exercise - schedule? Mon, Wed, Fri -- pounds bench pressed? miles run?
Chess - join icc play 100 games online
Photo - create greenfield landscape series 8-12 prints, matt, hang, show
Photo - portraits of friends, family ditto above
Photo - continue list of Photographers I Know, lunch coffee with them
Work - it's out of my hands, but I am applying for a promotion(re-write resume, today!)
Reading - reading list? 12 novels, 24 books? write thoughts, blurbs, reviews of books
Writing - write in journal every day
Relationships - see grandma 1x a week, make a baby with Tiffany, help Mom around the house
Garden - garden
Photo - get some work printing for students $$
Video - organize video tapes, shoot more video
Music - learn to play some songs on the bass, learn 6 songs on guitar
Health - dentist, find a therapist
Finance - buy a house
Education - pursue a post-grad degree, figure out what you'd want to study
Gear - sell enough stuff on ebay to buy the 18-200mm lens
More Photo - print albumen using digital internegatives

Sunday, January 4, 2009

more between the holidays

Yes, the holiday are over, and I should post my new year resolutions, but I'm still getting through the holiday pics and videos.
Watch the video right
I don't know half the people in the background there
Michael looking cute cute cute, Mara's there too and Bina
This is how Bina pictures herself
Jaimye and Tiffany looking a little busted
PS Thanks to all the people that showed up over the weekend, it is always great to see you.